Last week I grudgingly attended my first funeral. It was for a great aunt whom I have no recollection of ever meeting, nor had I ever met any of her family. I have never been good with others emotions, I despise crying myself and feel awkward around those who are.
As I stood on the outside of the group I began to ponder my own life, as such events often prompt one’s self to do , and I realized I was sick of this loop I was stuck in. I wasn’t even living I was simply existing. College seemed to have stamped out my spunky and energetic soul leaving me an empty uninspired skin.
I guess I’m lucky; I hit rock bottom when I was 20, but as I was circling the dregs looking for a way out I found myself in the same routine:
1.)Wake up Miserable
2.)Begrudgingly go to work
3.)Get so fed up by the end of the day that I decided I was ready for a change
4.)Get inspired looking up articles on how to change your life ect.
5.)Promise myself I would start tomorrow
Rinse and Repeat…
I dunno about you, but I see a fundamental flaw in this plan, instead of utilizing my positive head space I left all the hard work for my tired miserable brain the next morning. So inevitably I would always fail and end up in the exact same routine.
I did this in all areas of my life: exercise, healthy diet, art…
I was determined to make tomorrow a better day instead of focusing on the one I was having. That is why I have learned it is of the utmost importance to live in the present, to live everyday like it is your last because one day, it will be.